marry someone who makes bad jokes and good coffee
have u ever accidentally befriended someone who is very very irritating
when in reality they look like this:
and i’m just sitting there like:
i’ve never laughed so hard at a tumblr post before.
Ellen should win an Oscar for being Ellen
"and the oscar for best ellen degeneres goes to…. ellen degeneres"
"And the oscar for best Leonardo Dicaprio goes to … Ellen Degeneres"
I punched a guy bc he was making rape jokes and one of the things he said was “what’s the difference between yes and no? Nothing” so I asked him if he’d care if I punched him in the face and he said yes but I did it anyway since there’s no difference between yes and no and that’s the story of how I gave someone a bloody nose
Can We All Just Applaud This Person?